Why the Fukk Do You Care?

LITERALLY!

One of the things that I have never seemed to fully come to terms with over the past..
Lets just say many years… 🙂
… caring.. overthinking.. (perfect recipe for disaster right?) ha

See here is the thing;
We all think that we are so much different from everyone else,
&& that no one understands our struggles.. “struggles”

Like dude… I get it.. Life sucks sometimes, but what’s the point of taking all your energy && putting it towards something that doesn’t matter.

Something that will not get you ANY WHERE! Absolutely nowhere in this goddamn world! 🙂
I struggle with that sometimes. So I can speak in it…
But not that often,
It seems to come out of no where && just fukk my whole life up.
Then I get stuck && start to think about life as a whole..
&& try to figure out if I even belong..

I know..
We all know..
Shit sucks
&& it is uber annoying…
But it is okay..
I promise.

I know that every time you are looking to reach out,
you can feel like there is no one there to hear you,
or want to hear you..
But here is the thing..
You have to do that yourself.

You have to be the one that has that kind of control over your life.
Ha like me so..
Literally not even an hour ago.
Driving.
Just thinking.
Music.
More thinking.
More driving

Random ass Sadness.

Then I just kind of started saying things out loud that I didn’t really think anyone would want to hear or understand.

But it fucking helped.

It made me realize somethings.. some more things to add on the list about myself.
It made me see that there are literally a trillion things wrong in this world && I am not one of those mothafuckersssss
It made me smile through my bullshit ass tears, (still don’t really know what made me so upset.)
It made me laugh.
&& it made me feel like I belonged to myself.
But…
One thing that we fail to realize is that,
PEOPLE
ARE
NOT
CREATED
TO
FILL
YOUR
HAPPINESS

Seriously,
Like sometimes you just got to take a bullet.
Look like a stupid fucker.
Get over it.
&& be your biggest supporter!

Another thing we fail to realize is that, you
YES.. you my friend… need to be your own cheerleader.
You have to be the one to make yourself happy.

Because..
Shit.. we are all out here taking all this time to create sadness or even pity for ourselves && focusing on literally something that doesn’t matter.. that never mattered.
Why the fuck do we care though?

Insecure?
Maybe for some?

Everyone has their own reasons,
but I feel like they are all very similar && definitely connect.

That is why I write…

There are times when I just sit && there is nothing but sadness filled in these words,
but for me..
I rather get them out in the open && out of my head.
Try to clear some room for the happiness I deserve.

Also,
Something to remember…
It is okay to be a little hard on yourself.
ITS IIGHT..

I can admit that I am stupid at times && look back wishing I could take things back..

But this is real life
&& not a fucking movie so that shit ain’t about to happen.

Now with that all being said..
I hope you were able to smile…
Maybe even laugh.. just a teeny tiny bit..
&& most importantly..
I hope you were able to take something positive away from my words…

Seriously,
Because your fucking dope.

xoxoLaLa

 

 

Undiscovered Love

The reason I am alone is because of you,
It has been years,
years of me wanting you && only you
Years of wanting,
years of dreaming of my happiness, with you

There is something about you that can bring a smile to my face
There is something about you that will brighten my day
The only reason why my heart can skip a beat after all this time
The connection that we have is what can make some jealous

My heart goes out to you
My heart beats for you
My life would be complete with you right next to me
But somethings have to wait,
The years that we have spent have been enjoyable

&& with you,
you never left my mind,
you’ve always have a spot in my heart
Where it beats, forever && a day..

Even if it is not with me…

That is the kind of love that some people have no yet discovered.
Some are selfish && don’t wish to let the other person grow.
They don’t want them to seek true happiness when they know it is not with them anymore…

What one might fail to see is that no matter what
Your heart will keep beating.
Yes, it might hurt for sometime, but it is still beating.
It is still in you
It is still yours

We all suffer a lost love at least once in our life time
&& that is okay.

Remember that,
Cherish that,

You will live another day,
You will love another more,

Remember the good times,
Cherish the memories,
Smile at them always,

But remember yourself first

You are not the reason that I am alone
You are not the reason that my heart beats
You are the reason that I can see clear
You are the reason I am free
Free as a bird
Free as a bee

Forever you will remember me

❤️

xoxoLaLa

 

Ready to be Happy

October 2015.

Single.

It’s been a little journey. Maybe even a little bit of a struggle. But honestly, I’ve been able to accomplish a lot on my own.

Things to be proud of. I’ve done somethings that I never thought possible, or was to afraid to do things on my own without knowing if I could succeed or not.

It has made me somewhat a of a stronger person.

But I’ve also feel like I’ve missed out on somethings.

I am a person who enjoys sharing the little things and doing the little things. (That part has been a little difficult).

Sometimes it is just easier to just blame this generation and myself for being to afraid to venture out on things and take risks.

Who knows where I would be now?

But one thing that I will not do is settle

I think everyone deserves happiness, in any shape or form.

I think everyone has a certain passion that they hold that they can’t wait to show to the world… but only at the right time .. when they are ready

But only they know when it is time.

They say that you can create your own happiness. Maybe even control it as well..
That is probably true, to some degree but there is no denying the happiness that hides within.

Take each day as if it really is your last,
Make sure you laugh as much as possible
Make sure you smile from ear to ear
Make sure you use your ears to hear the ones who wish to be heard
BE the person within

…with no regrets…

Single or not 🙂

That is all ❤

xoxoLaLa