There is such a thing as being to available.
I am one of those people.
I am one of those people who always seems to be available..
Maybe because I haven’t got anything else really going for me.
I will sit in silence for so long just to hear any kind of notification..
..half the time its one of those texts that are really about nothing from a company or a reminder.. lame
I hate that..
I have a social life that doesn’t exist.
One that I am not sure how to gain.
No distractions..
No nothing.
Just silence.
Waiting.
…Just available.
How does that make me look?
Always there are soon as I hear something.
Quick responder.
So lame..
For so long it has been so hard for me to get a grasp on things.
My mind can never seem to be focused on one thing without the feeling,
or wondering what I could be missing out on..
9.9/10 its nothing…
I hate social media sometimes,
but it seems like the best option to get myself out there to not feel so
ALONE?
or needy? I don’t know.
The older you get the harder it gets.
Just sitting thinking how it is so hard to change
I don’t know what to do or even where to begin…
When things seem to be promising they always seem to find a way of ripping
itself out of my reach… why?
… (maybe it is just me)…
But yet I am still available..
How can I turn this off?
Why does this seem to be my thing?
Maybe one day I will figure it out…
Thanks for listening..
Until next time.
xoxoLaLa