Love, Love

I love love.

I love seeing people happy together && just living the life they dreamed of.


I still wonder when I will be able to experience it for myself…
Love that is..

And I am half hopeful that it might happen to me one day.

One day πŸ™ƒ

Today I had two different people ask me if I was really single.

Like yes. Yes I am.

I’ve been. For such a long time now.

But who knows if it really shows.

I’m so hopeful at times. I watched a video today about not being afraid to move on from a bad relationship.

I haven’t really experienced that…As it resulting in a break up.

But it made me smile. because that this girl found someone. Found love.

Years after it happened && she never gave up on finding her happiness.

I do believe that it comes when you least expect it.

But what do I know.

I just keep smiling πŸ™‚

Keep waiting 😍

Keep wishing πŸ₯°

Keep hoping ☺️

Stay happy ❀️

Stay true 😁



Like a Scene From the Movies

Where did I miss the turn?

When did it all go wrong?

Why haven’t I been able to see past all the things that have blinded me for so long?

I swear that I am not asking for a lot.

Just something.

Something small.

Something that some might even take for granted.

I swear sometimes I feel like I could be in a movie.

You know the kind where everything just falls in to place like an amazing big fat fairy tale.

But then always.


When I am about to get to the good part it stops working….

The connection is lost..

I am lost..

It is basically like the end of the world…


Don’t we all want to be someone’s favorite good morning && favorite good night?

Or is that just me?

Sometimes more often than planned..

I crave that attention..

Probably because I never get it!

But I do welcome it, just not to anyone though,

Should I be that person in the movies who goes after what they want?

Or be that person who waits for it all to come to them ?

Both sound pretty unsure.


Let’s flip a coin && see if it will land on tails….


I always joke around && say that I will meet this person at the grocery.

We would be in the same aisle.

Reaching for the same item && actually touch hands &&



Then we have this great conversation && it turns out that we have a shit ton in common..
blah. blah. blah
&& live happily ever after….


Well to be more specific.
We would be in the soup aisle.
You will be reaching for a soup near the top.. eh maybe like a cream soup
&& I will reach for the same one.
Knowing damn well I don’t eat soup..


I was literally laughing the whole time while I wrote that last little bit,
(I just thought you would like to know that.)


But man, I really don’t know.
I feel like I am always talk about the same kind of things in my posts. But it is all at different times in the year or month or day, it is just a “common” topic for myself.
(Again… this is basically my journal for you to get lost in..)

You know we all go through these things in life && sometimes revisiting it seems to shed more light on to somethings && it all makes sense again.

I am patiently “waiting”
Sort of becoming impatient because time is ticking away.


What can you really do, settling is not an option for this fool!



Breaking the Cycle

I’ve always had such a hard time.

Breaking the Cycle

It is an annoying habit to have, but sometimes you have to just bite the bullet && do what is best for you. Sometimes you have to go outside of your “mind” && look at things from a different perspective. I can tell you right now that it will in no means be easy but I can almost guarantee that it will be worth it && your happiness will be even greater!

I know I sound like someone that is being paid to say this but I always say things on my blog that I can speak from && have experienced for myself. I want to reach out to as many people as I can because I feel that it is important to know who you are && to never lose yourself. Your happiness is the most important thing in this world that belongs to you. Well… one of the most && you get to control that!

Do not let someone, take that happiness from you.
Do not let someone take what is not theirs.
Do not forget who you are && what you are worth.
Do not let someone control your anything.
Do not let someone waste your time.

It literally takes seconds… SECONDS to respond to someone. Whether it is through face to face, phone or text, hell even anything on social media. It takes seconds..

More && more I notice how much people suck.
This generation of people suck ass crack on a hot sunny day.. Eggs are fucking cooked to no end, just straight filth.
Obviously, I cannot speak for anyone else other than myself. So that is what I am doing..
That is what I always been doing && no this is not me going off on a limb && making up the craziest accusations… It is just me being me. πŸ™‚


How many people can say that they have been left on read?
How many people can say that they have left someone on read?
How many people have said yes to both but only recognize one as being wrong?
…aka the first question…
There is this issue within this “era” where people feel the need to build someone up just to break them down && loose all hope in something.. Maybe not all the time, but I believe that there is some hurt to everyone at all expense.

What gets me is when I see someone post about how all females are the same && all they do is post pictures half naked for attention, where are all the real woman at?

I hate this.

Number one reason being is that 99% of the time (that’s just my exact guess from experience) there is at least one good person in the bunch that you know but ignore.

Male or female we have all done it.
So why do we look all over when there is someone right under our nose?
Is it for the likes?
Is it for the attention?
Well, hell maybe you aren’t into that said person, which is fine.

But people are so quick to jump on the bandwagon && continue to make this generation worst than what it was yesterday. I can’t tell someone how many times I have reached out to people just to generally see how they are && got nothing back. People are full of excuses && it’s absolutely sad.

But can we really blame them? It is all a vicious cycle that seems to have no real purpose && have no real end. There is nothing that seems to make sense anymore. There is nothing that can be said to break this cycle.


One day I think we will all come to the realization of how we have made this world a personal living hell. For either ourselves or someone else. Again with no real reason.

It kind of takes me back to the whole, “Is it for the likes? The attention?” Possibly.

I guess just grab a bag of popcorn && watch us all try to get out of this.

Get out of this nonsense && break the cycle, Together.


Was It Worth It?.. Nope

So a few years ago, I decided that I wanted to make a change in my life and wanted to have more of a stable “future” for myself.

So back in 2013, the job scene for me wasn’t anything worth wild.
It was a bit of a struggle.
I worked a few jobs at a time making three jobs at once the most I have ever worked in my life..
I can’t say that I would ever want to do that again though.

Anyways, like I was saying.
So back then I decided that enough was enough and that I wanted to make something great out of my life.
I started to do some research and took a look into different schools
I already knew that I did not want to cut back on hours at work because I obviously need money to live and plus being a single parent and having a place to call my own was also a factor and we all know how the bills never stop coming..


(Sorry I keep getting sidetracked.. lol)

So I came across a few Colleges/ Universities to do some online schooling to be able to obtain a Bachelors Degree. (Spoiler Alert. I did)
I found a college that was to my liking, and in late 2013 I started my journey through online schooling.

It was nice for the first few months. I was able to stay focused and was getting good grades and actually giving it my all, participating in just about everything. It was great.

The only thing that I kept thinking was how I would be able to get a real job and make decent money and be pretty much set.

Oh boy was I wrong.. lol

But before we get to that let me just finish off by saying that I did graduate in 2016, a few months later than I was expected to graduate but hey still did it. I declined to fly out and walk across the stage, even though I thought it would of been amazing to do so. (Especially with this kind of accomplishment. )

With a few months left in school in 2015, I was offered a paid internship through some website that I can’t even think of at the current moment. It was geared towards students who were graduating/recently graduated.

The internship was online based and the company that I applied to was based out of state.
Where I live, one of the people working for the company was originally from a neighboring state of mine and traveled up north just to give me one on one training. At my apartment..
It was nice but also a little weird considering the person himself. But that is a whole different story because this post is already long enough.

Moving forward.

So I was interning for a few weeks when they decided that they wanted to bring me on as an employee.
Great right!?
It was until I was later laid off a few months later due to some inaccurate statements. Basically I felt like I was being ganged up on and the one partner and the person who came up to train me turned his back on me and was feeding lies to the part owner.


So that was in fact the only job that I was ever able to get with my degree.
It is absolutely ridiculous how jobs want you to have a degree and also want you to have 5-10 years experience in the field, while just graduating. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

After a while I stopped even looking for anything like that. I found it hard to get my foot in the door anywhere, when realistally just about anyone can be trained to do a job (Marketing) unless it’s like being something that requires a doctorate or whatever. I am sure you get my drift in where I am going with this statement.

Any who..

A few years, I landed a Director job with a new company. I obviously had noooo experience being a director of any kind, but I was given a chance and I nailed it.
The company later fell apart having some issues with the owners (amongst themselves)

That was earlier this year.. and that was the last job I had with anything related to my degree.
What a waste.
I have had a job consistently for the past 3 years or so. I did the director job full time leaving my cooking job to part time.
&& you know what??

I prefer that.

The whole point of this entry was to say that even though, I thought that I needed this degree, I needed to go to school to make good money, like I thought just by having this piece of paper that I would be able to land something.

&& unfortunately I was wrong.
.. but that could change down the line but its already been 2 years and some that I received the degree.

I can’t say that I am happy that I did it.
I am now learning that since I am paying it back now, how much of a waste it was for me and that companies are outrageous with their standards. It seems like you have to know someone in any kind of business just to be heard and given a chance.

No, I don’t make the best money right now. But I also didn’t go to Culinary School. Which I don’t believe I would of went to either way because I knew that it is a job that you can be trained right there. Learning all kinds of things. Which I did and I have been nothing less than successful in.

You know why?

Simply because I have the drive.

And that is all you need.

So if you are in a similar situation as me. Where you went to school to make your life “better” and it didn’t seem to work out that way but found your passion else where.
I understand.
&& just continue to realize that you have done nothing wrong.
Just keep setting goals for yourself and the rest shall follow.

Thanks for listening..