Tag: happy

My New Hobby

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I have recently discovered something that I am so happy && excited to do.

I know it’s literally nothing super special but I bought myself a little grow kit for a cactus.

It hasn’t grown yet since it takes month but it was nice to just be able to grow something.

So the next week I bought another one because I was super excited && also decided to buy a flower one.

The flower pot has started to sprout.

&& that makes me UBER excited!!!

So today I was out because I was off.
I had something to get done && some plans that fell through…

(What else is new!? 🤷🏽‍♀️)

But I came across seeds to start growing anything. I have of course seen these way before time. But this time it was something that I actually got excited about.

Side note: excited is the word of the day/ of this blog. So feel free to have a shot every time I say that word. I promise I won’t take it overboard. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited.

But I picked up two flower packets && two herb ones. Trying to dabble in something new. Super excited to see how it will turn out.

I got some flower pots && plan to keep them in the kitchen. I don’t have a back yard to actually have an outdoor garden, which slightly saddens me..

I went to target to find some dirt which I got some recycled soil.

This is a new journey for me, it’s crazy that living so many years you can still find new interests to get excited about!

I cannot wait to see how these turn out because I AM SUPER DUPER MOTHAFUCKING EXCITED AS FUKK about this all…

Until next time, my favorite people! 🙂

xoxoLaLa

Like a Scene From the Movies

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Where did I miss the turn?

When did it all go wrong?

Why haven’t I been able to see past all the things that have blinded me for so long?

I swear that I am not asking for a lot.

Just something.

Something small.

Something that some might even take for granted.

I swear sometimes I feel like I could be in a movie.

You know the kind where everything just falls in to place like an amazing big fat fairy tale.

But then always.

ALWAYS.

When I am about to get to the good part it stops working….

The connection is lost..

I am lost..

It is basically like the end of the world…

<——————————————————->

Don’t we all want to be someone’s favorite good morning && favorite good night?

Or is that just me?

Sometimes more often than planned..

I crave that attention..

Probably because I never get it!

But I do welcome it, just not to anyone though,

Should I be that person in the movies who goes after what they want?

Or be that person who waits for it all to come to them ?

Both sound pretty unsure.

Dammit

Let’s flip a coin && see if it will land on tails….

<——————————————————->

I always joke around && say that I will meet this person at the grocery.

We would be in the same aisle.

Reaching for the same item && actually touch hands &&

BOOM 

MOVIE GOLD

Then we have this great conversation && it turns out that we have a shit ton in common..
blah. blah. blah
&& live happily ever after….

lol

Well to be more specific.
We would be in the soup aisle.
You will be reaching for a soup near the top.. eh maybe like a cream soup
&& I will reach for the same one.
Knowing damn well I don’t eat soup..

lol

I was literally laughing the whole time while I wrote that last little bit,
(I just thought you would like to know that.)

#funfact

But man, I really don’t know.
I feel like I am always talk about the same kind of things in my posts. But it is all at different times in the year or month or day, it is just a “common” topic for myself.
(Again… this is basically my journal for you to get lost in..)

You know we all go through these things in life && sometimes revisiting it seems to shed more light on to somethings && it all makes sense again.

I am patiently “waiting”
Sort of becoming impatient because time is ticking away.

BUT

What can you really do, settling is not an option for this fool!

xoxoLaLa

 

The “Skinny” Girl

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I have always been the kind of person who was born “lucky”. (in a sense)
And when I say that, I am talking about something very specific that I couldn’t help because it was just the way I have always been.
&& some people thought of me as being”lucky”. (Stupid right!?)

Let’s dive a little more deeper.
(but I am pretty sure you are able to figure out what this is all about from the title!)
I have always been a fairly “skinny” person.
I put the word in quotes because.. I don’t know. Some people make it sound ridiculous.
I guess when I was in high school it was like the best thing ever??
And being thin was the “IT” thing….? Or some shit like that..

Even when I was pregnant I only weight maybe 135 lbs, && again…
I couldn’t help that.
I can say though, that after the fact I was indeed lucky to go right back into “shape”.
But the whole point of this blog is that just because you are skinny does not mean your in shape.
That is one thing that I literally hated hearing, && still do dislike hearing.

Here are some of the struggles of being skinny;

  1. I can tell someone my current weight and they do not believe me.
    Apparently it is a lie.
    It’s crazy isn’t it!?
    Why would anyone lie about something so minimal like that?
  2. Some people seem to think that you don’t eat a lot and you have a problem.
    Aka you have an eating disorder. 🙄
  3. People say that I don’t need to work out because I am skinny, when being skinny has nothing.
    NOTHING to do with being in shape && healthy. 🙃
  4.  Someone is always constantly reminding me that I am skinny.
  5. When you are excited that you put on some weight or even mention you want to gain weigh, for some reason it seems to be an issue.&& there goes an eye roll
    🙄🙄🙄
  6. Everyone always thinks that your going to just become obese when you hit a certain again, like everyone’s body is the same.
    Seriously probably one of the most annoying things I have ever heard.
    Clearly everyone is not the same or built the same or even eats the same and has the same issues.
    Sounds like a tiny bit of jealousy!? Not saying that people are jealous of me per say but generally speaking when there is that sort of “hate” or “negativity” for no reason what so ever.

Anyways…
I guess 6 is good for right now. lol

I just basically wanted to say that because being skinny is not everything.
Coming from a skinny person!
There are real life struggles of someone being skinny that is really not what it is all cracked up to be.
So people just need to settle down and think about what you are going to say to someone that you find to be “too skinny”
We all have feelings and it is not pleasant to hear certain things, that are pretty much insulting, even though others might think it is a compliment.

But it is not.
K thanks.
Until next time.

Just be beautiful in the skin you are in!

xoxoLaLa

Afraid

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This is the thing that scares me the most about my blog. 
I always want to write and make content entertaining enough for those who want to read it, but sometimes I can’t get the words out in the right kind of way.

It is like I am almost afraid to write,
Like I am going to discover something unknown or something weird like that
(I know, my mind has all kinds of tricks up its’ sleeve)

But anyways..

That is mainly why my post have been so scattered, just like my brain 90% of the time,
it’s crazy && I also don’t post unless I feel 200% confident about what I am putting out, (minus like my one blog that pretty much states that this post makes no sense. )

There was a time in my life where I had a somewhat steady YouTube Channel
Using steady in the way meaning that I uploaded regularly. 
There are times when I do miss it.

Moving forward,

So the other day, I was in my car, and started to vlog something.
I charged my camera while I was getting ready in the morning && decided to bring it along with me for the day.

This was finally it, I was going to make a video and possibly post it to my channel after a good year or more. I haven’t watched it back but I speak my mind when I feel the need to and rant to myself just to get it out of my head and into the space in front of me. 

None of it will probably make sense, but I am ready to not be afraid to put my thoughts into the world, in hopes someone can relate. 

(Even though with this blog I have been doing it this whole time.)

Thank you so much ☺️

&&

Enjoy! 

xoxoLaLa

Undiscovered Love

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The reason I am alone is because of you,
It has been years,
years of me wanting you && only you
Years of wanting,
years of dreaming of my happiness, with you

There is something about you that can bring a smile to my face
There is something about you that will brighten my day
The only reason why my heart can skip a beat after all this time
The connection that we have is what can make some jealous

My heart goes out to you
My heart beats for you
My life would be complete with you right next to me
But somethings have to wait,
The years that we have spent have been enjoyable

&& with you,
you never left my mind,
you’ve always have a spot in my heart
Where it beats, forever && a day..

Even if it is not with me…

That is the kind of love that some people have no yet discovered.
Some are selfish && don’t wish to let the other person grow.
They don’t want them to seek true happiness when they know it is not with them anymore…

What one might fail to see is that no matter what
Your heart will keep beating.
Yes, it might hurt for sometime, but it is still beating.
It is still in you
It is still yours

We all suffer a lost love at least once in our life time
&& that is okay.

Remember that,
Cherish that,

You will live another day,
You will love another more,

Remember the good times,
Cherish the memories,
Smile at them always,

But remember yourself first

You are not the reason that I am alone
You are not the reason that my heart beats
You are the reason that I can see clear
You are the reason I am free
Free as a bird
Free as a bee

Forever you will remember me

❤️

xoxoLaLa