LaLa, The Mini Chef

So I’ve been doing this for a while now and I think I want to master it…

eventually.

One day that is….

I’ve been a cook for a few years now.

No where near Chef status but a Mini Chef.

Yes.

I don’t mind what I do, in fact I very much so enjoy the sense of freedom I have when it comes to being creative.

I have come along way since I started cooking back in 2011 landing a cook supervisor position at the age of 21, with no experience what so ever..
(Just winging it like always)

It was something completely new for me. I didn’t feel confident enough to be able to pull that kind of job off considering since it was my first actual cooking job.

Nursing home.

(I’ve worked in a few before. Haven’t since 2013. Can’t say that I would ever go back or even miss that type of a cooking setting. On to bigger and better things, right!?🤷🏽‍♀️)

But that’s where it all started for me.

I was a dishwasher at this place.

A pot washer.

A Hospitality Aid at some point as well.

My FSD. Food Service Director.

Brought it to me saying that I would probably be really good at it.
Like I said before I had no experience.
But I liked to work.

I took the job on and people liked what I did. People preferred me as a cook.

Even compared to other cooks. It was great.

I was so afraid to become a cook. Stepping into that kind of role without knowing anything was pretty big for me.

And I thank those who believed in me and was able to see something different in me.

I look back at that place and see that some… Not a lot may still work there. Or have moved on to different nursing homes or maybe retirement homes. Or even hospital settings.

Still hospitality. Dietary.

Good for them.

Skipping ahead to 2015. I landed a job as a cook, yet again. After not cooking for the past two years. Had some odd jobs in between nothing to fancy. And nothing worth talking about.

I don’t remember my interview very well. I remember what I was wearing though. Nothing professional for a job interview that’s for sure..

I was nervous.
This was a completely new setting for me.
And frankly I don’t even remember apply to the place anyways.

It was about 40 minutes from where I lived.
So it was a bit of a drive for me.
I knew very little about the city but they gave me a chance.

The interview went fairly well.
Since I got the job.

One of the original Chefs that I started with tells me from time to time that he didn’t think I was going to last.

Yea. I may have had a rough start in the beginning but I pulled through. Haven’t missed a day. Well haven’t called out.

It is the first and only place where I have worked with Chefs. Not cooks along side of me but Chefs. That I respect.

The name Mini Chef was “given” to me by one of my Chefs and I kind of sort of took it and ran with it.
I adopted it. Basically.

&&

3 years later.

54 miles to and from a day.

4 days a week.

I am still here.

I am not a chef.

I have learned a lot.

I still have a lot to learn.

But I love what I do.

The only goal that I have set for myself in the Food Industry was to become a Sous Chef.

I’ll get there one day.

I suppose ☺️

Campus dining is a hell of a lot different than a nursing home obviously but.

I’m glad I went for it.

xoxoLaLa

Better

Mixed Feelings.
Mixed Things.
Mixed … Everything?

One minute I am happy and am feeling like I am on top of the world,
The next I am just slumped down in the dumps….

BUT

I am finally starting to look at things in a different light.
Making the changes I need to, to be able to live a better life.

To be happier!
To be myself!
To be creative!
To be anything my heart desires!

AND

To stop thinking about other people and making them think that they are more important than myself.
To stop thinking that other people come first that never truly mattered
To be able to see and know my worth!
To be able to be free!

No..
My life is not perfect, it is far from it but I try my best everyday to make something out of it.
I want to learn how to wear a smile on my sleeve everyday and spread happiness everywhere I go.
I want others to know that there are so many options and good things in life that can have an amazing outcome!

xoxoLaLa

Nothing But Thoughts

Have you  ever just looked at something and thought damn… my life really does suck, “I’m missing a whole lot, like how am I even living?”

(okay you get my drift)

It seems like lately I have only been talking about the same topics, but it is one of those things that I do feel strongly about. (like 80% of the time)

There are times when I see things that I get “jealous” of….
See things that I want and things that make me think…

“Well how do I get that?”

Happiness …

(I am so obvious at this point)

I was recently browsing on literally every kind of social media that I have an account to (literally like 3) and noticed how people possess this band with another person that seems to make the world stop and they are the only ones in it.

Maybe that takes an extension of happiness and is more along the lines of LOVE, something I clearly lack in the relationship world.

And after a few years I am still unsure of how I feel about where I am and what I have…..

I hate that I go through these “phases” one minute I am absolutely happy with being single and the next it feels like it is the end of the world.

But hey what can you really expect when you don’t put yourself out there or people think you are not real on dating sites…

Clearly  a win, win situation right there.
Who knows.
Anyways…

Dating sites are not for me, I find them to become annoying  after like a week of people copying and pasting the same message or people who are on their to find someone to PLUCK.

In my uneducated opinion I find that on a whole different level and maybe, I am being a bit harsh by saying this…

“But if you are on a dating site solely to sleep with someone, you should probably reevaluate your thoughts and your life?” Like come on, you don’t know anyone in your real life to bone….
One thing I will never understand and I am also one of those people who is not all about throwing it to the first, second, third or tenth person who gives me attention.

Not about that life.

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I am fortunately, (or unfortunately) one of those “rare” people who has enough respect for myself to not see how many guys I can get. I am an independent person who actually has a good heart (working well… still not sure) but that’s  just the way I am you can either take it or leave it. (leave it is the most popular option so check that box before you leave!)

But it literally is all crazy to think about. But that’s just my thoughts and opinions with some fun facts about me…

End Rant?

xoxoLaLa

Ready to be Happy

October 2015.

Single.

It’s been a little journey. Maybe even a little bit of a struggle. But honestly, I’ve been able to accomplish a lot on my own.

Things to be proud of. I’ve done somethings that I never thought possible, or was to afraid to do things on my own without knowing if I could succeed or not.

It has made me somewhat a of a stronger person.

But I’ve also feel like I’ve missed out on somethings.

I am a person who enjoys sharing the little things and doing the little things. (That part has been a little difficult).

Sometimes it is just easier to just blame this generation and myself for being to afraid to venture out on things and take risks.

Who knows where I would be now?

But one thing that I will not do is settle

I think everyone deserves happiness, in any shape or form.

I think everyone has a certain passion that they hold that they can’t wait to show to the world… but only at the right time .. when they are ready

But only they know when it is time.

They say that you can create your own happiness. Maybe even control it as well..
That is probably true, to some degree but there is no denying the happiness that hides within.

Take each day as if it really is your last,
Make sure you laugh as much as possible
Make sure you smile from ear to ear
Make sure you use your ears to hear the ones who wish to be heard
BE the person within

…with no regrets…

Single or not 🙂

That is all ❤

xoxoLaLa

Living a Lie?

I’ve been living a lie for so long.

I am 28, still trying to find myself.. still trying to figure out where I belong.
I feel like I have always known what my purpose was…
but I just kept avoiding it like the plague

I’ve tried to change things about myself..
Things in my life..
All to find happiness..
But the joke was on me because nothing really made me that happy
Avoiding something doesn’t fix anything…
Unwanted changes only temporarily hide the problem

I switched jobs…
(Sort of)
To learn something new..
To be able to have a better income..
To build a better life…
To be happier?
but I haven’t left the thing that I enjoy doing the most
&& I don’t think that I can
…. I don’t think that it is possible….

I like tattoos, I love tattoos..
They give my life a mini story on the side to tell
But I haven’t gotten any in a while now…
Every time I scheduled one, I bailed.
Why?
I don’t know.
All I really want to do is just finish my arm…
Maybe one day LaLa
But that is all besides the point of this post.
This part is just a little side note for no real reason and so is the next two sections…
Heads up seven up
(But at the end, maybe it will all make sense as one post to you!?)

I like piercings, I love piercings
I loved having my plugs
but they got so irritated and I had to let them go
&& close after 5 years of having them…
I thought I was ready for a change
I wanted to leave that in the past and begin a “new life”
But
Then I took a look in the mirror one day and realized, that this wasn’t me
I felt so incomplete without them
I was missing something so small but yet made such a huge impact on me
So I stretched them back! 🙂
… I think they will be here to stay.. go big or go home?

I like make-up, I love make-up
There is just something about getting “ready” in the morning
Something that just makes my heart a little happier each time.
No I am not the best at it
&& I am far from a professional
But I manage.
Sometimes I do go out of the box and create different looks but lately..
Lately, I have let the ball drop on my creative looks..
Just keeping it simple….
But there is nothing wrong with that.
It is still a joy to get ready every morning…
For myself..

That was a month ago.

I was sitting at home.. thinking
Thinking about where I belong
Thinking about what I want to do
Thinking about how to get there
And hating myself for stopping anything that made me happy.

I am a cook with tattoos && plugs that enjoys make up
Pretty to look at but serious about what I do.
Not everyone can say that..
For me..
Its not about the attention
Its about the feeling of accomplishment
The feeling of being beat after a long or short day
Being annoyed by the people in the kitchen,
All at the same time to love what you do
It is definitely not something for everyone,
It can be stressful
But at the end of the day…
Creating something for others to enjoy beats it all.

I am a cook part-time now
I don’t think that I will ever be able to give it up completely
Maybe one day I will become a sous chef.
Maybe.
Or maybe I will go in a different direction.

I am all over the place 99.7 % of the time and it can become difficult to deal with myself at times but this is one thing that I know. If there is something that you are passionate about or enjoy whether it is professional or not. Keep at it.
&& Don’t second guess yourself… you got thissssssssssss

OH HELL YEAAAA

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xoxoLaLa