The Curse of the Heart

There’s been way too many times where I felt like an idiot,

I am true to my sign and it is unfortunate… too me anyways,

How many chances is one willing to give and get nothing in return besides apologizes?

Why is it that I am the last thing that matters?

When nothing else is going on then maybe we can see what I’m up to or try to make time for me..

I don’t want to be anyone’s last option but here I am doing just that,

My heart is heavy && it seems like it’s not reversible. The damage is done.

No amount of bandages can patch up a wound this big…

No amount of sorries can make me feel loved again…

I have a heart.
I have a huge heart.
I have a heart that only wishes to please && get nothing in return.
Why?

Why am I like this?

Why is it always me?

Why can’t anyone see me for me?

Why do I have to be this way?

No one cares..

I spend my only day to do anything I can do, waiting on you.

Hoping with my heart filled with happiness,

Only for it to be taken away just as fast, like it never existed.

I am such an idiot for thinking anyone would want to take the chance to get to know me.

Have the chance to be happy,

&& feel loved.

Who was I kidding?

It is up to me to break the cycle…

but unfortunately, I don’t like to hurt people in that way && make them feel unwanted or ignore them….

Even though it happens to me more than it should.
I have a heart and it sucks 🙁

It is like a curse && there is no curing that.

💔😞

xoxoLaLa

Never Alone

For so long
I have been in a rut, trying to figure out,
Why.
Just a why in general

I have always been kindhearted when it comes to most things.
I think it is important to let someone know that they matter.
I think it is important to reach out to those you know and ask,
“How are you?”

I know it is not much but it is something,
It is not something that is hard to do,
In fact it is one of those things that people take for granted…. a lot 😦

Saying something as simple as “Hey, what’s up, how have you been?” Can give someone so much life and make their day a million and one times better! 🙂 🙂

But a lot of people unfortunately can not see that….
So many people are broken,
So many people are hopeless,
So many people are unloved….
So many people give kindness and get nothing in return
.. Just a simple read message,
And it kills them inside, but no one can see that, no one understands…

Or cares?

I can only speak for myself.
And for myself I will.

I found that I have been trying for so long to “sell” myself to people, for them to see
that I am actually a pretty cool person, who cares, who will pick you up when you are down, to give you life when you feel like all is lost.
To be by your side and make sure you conquer the world!

But none of that matters,
No one cares, because people only see what they want.
So many people are only in it for themselves…

This world is too big, to try and fit all the pieces together.
This world holds too much for you to lose yourself over the small things.

All you need is a smile,
I know that it might not seem like much but it can make you feel,

Wanted,
Loved,
Passion,
ALIVE!

Always remember that you do not have to walk this Earth thinking that you owe it something.
Never walk with your head down, for it should be held higher then the mountains.
Always keep that pretty smile of yours and never let it a frown peak through.
Never do the things that you don’t want to do.
Always love with your heart &&
Never let anyone else tell you otherwise

You got this, I promise!
(This is a post for myself and for anyone who needs to be lifted up. I cannot speak for anyone but myself, but I can let it be known that you are never alone! 🙂 )

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xoxoLaLa