Just Wait

Lately I have seen a handful of people find someone.
People that have went “forever” beingย alone.

They seem to have found happiness all at once…
And that makes me happy

It makes me so happy to see other people happy.
It is sort of like a sense of hope,

a sense of worth.

Just all around exciting.

I often wonder when my turn will be.
No rush.
Just something I wonder…

Just thinking about it, makes me think of the little things that I miss…

So many little things….

Just thinking about them give me a small smile.
Oh man. Oh man. Oh man.
Happiness at its finest.

I wonder if I will ever be able to have that sort of happiness again…

It is one of those things that I feel like every single one of us goes through.
We can all often wonder things of that nature when we feel alone,
Or have been alone for a certain period of time.

I am no expert,
Obviously
But I know that things can happen.
Just don’t think about them so much, it will make it worst!

Believe me when I say..

That I have a list in my head,
in my mind,
in my soul

That I replay over and over and over again, each time with a smile bigger than the last

I will be worth it

xoxoLaLa

Stay Posi….

Drained.
Unhappy.
Hopeless.
Sad.
Having no feeling.
Just wanting to be loved.

Days like this are when we say “stay posi
It will all get better soon enough

I have beaten myself up over things that I have had no control over for so long,
&& I am just trying to figure out when it will all be over…

When will I be able to be completely happy again?
I still have yet to find out that answer ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

&& you know, the only thing I would like to do is be able to make someones day,
I would love to know that someone smiled today because of me.

I just want to spread love, spread happiness..
(stay posi)

Here I sit just thinking about how I missed out on different opportunities because I was afraid..
Afraid to try something new,

Afraid to be happy.. .
&& most days I hate myself for that..
but there is nothing that I can do about it now.
Because..
I messed up and I missed out and I just see so many happy people but I can still never be apart of them.

I do not write for anyone but myself.
I speak words out loud to myself almost everyday after work or even before work.
I have 40 minutes each way to sit and think and just wonder…
Wishing that I could change everything

The days go by so fast and sleep takes over me,
With each day that passes I just seem to slip away more and more
Slower and slower with each day
It hurts.. it really does

(stay posi)

I’ve heard that a few years ago from someone who meant a lot to me.

I know where it came from and I knew what it meant

I can still try and look back to figure things out.

Try to find the right fit to the puzzle

The right combination to the safe

The correct way to think

The right words to say….

But I can’t.

I won’t.

I don’t want to go backwards

So I won’t

Stay posi

xoxoLaLa

 

Tall, Dark && Handsome… What?

So the other day..
..well for the most part..ย (ย it was more like over a year ago, but we are just going keep that between you and I)
I was just randomly thinking about the dating scene,
what people are into and their types.. all their likes and dislikes
Blah..
Blah..
Blah..
Yaddey…
Yaddey
Ya..
Fuck it.
Fuck it..
Fuckity fuck..

Whatever

And then it struck me like a lightning bolt from the mothafucking sky….

Who came up with Tall, Dark and Handsome?

Like what does that even fucking mean?

So then I thought…

Lets look it the fuck up and get all the details.

(Side note: sorry for the use of all the F bombs so close together and it is just the beginning of this post lol.. but you love it though)

First things first.
So I was typing in Tall dark and handsome.
(You can see some of the random ass things that came along with it.)

img_5666-1

What is even tall, dark and handsome coffee?

What magical shit is this?

Curious as a cat. I clicked on it thinking that it was going to be something super out of the ordinary for some reason but it turned out to be just like a coffee brand or flavor.

Lame.

Idk. I clicked out of it so fast from being sort of disappointed that I didn’t even care to look any further.

So moving down this list on Bing or whatever I was using to search this non sense.
I clicked on down to the meaning.

Side note. Again.
Apparently it was a movie also that came out in 1941.
About an hour and 18 minutes long to be exact. lol
Didn’t really care who was in it or what it was about but the cover was cartoon like so you can take that image and run with it.
Unless you have personally seen it before, and if that is the case just dismiss my rude ass.

Back to the story.
Or whatever you want to call this shnit.

First of all. Again.
The first thing that I noticed was a shirtless guy.
Now call me crazy but I guess you have to be in really good shape and maybe tall to fit this role.

I don’t know for sure though because I am obviously having fun with this and just completely guessing out the rear on this one. But mainly having fun.

Clicking on some post from Quora.
I skimmed over it and it basically was referring to Indian men.
(Not sure if this shirtless guy was actually Indian that they were using but he could of been.eh)

There was also a bunch of other nonsense that I didn’t feel the need to read but on to the next site.

RESEARCHING IS SO MUCH FUN!

The next site says something about the meaning on tallsmlimtees.com
Seems random as fuck.
But again what do I know?
We gonna click on that shit.

Any who

This site says that the meaning has been used for over a century (which a lot of sites seemed to have agreed on that ONE thing)

The site also says that Tall, dark and handsome is mainly to describe
“swoon worthy leading men”ย 

Whatever that means.

So there you have it folks. I wanted to know the answer and kind of figured it out.
I am also not going to lie and say that I just got tired of looking online because I just stopped caring after like 15 minutes.

REASEACHING IS SO MUCH FUN!

Just for fun. I also did the same search on Safari on my iPhone.
And this is what came up.

img_5664

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed your kind of long stay here at heyhihelloitslalaxo.com
Feel free to come again because I will be here!
Until next time folks ๐Ÿ™ƒ

xoxoLaLa

 

Before the โ€œComebackโ€

I’ve missed writing.

I’ve missed doing this blog.

I stopped for months.

For a few different reasons.

But the passion I once had for all of this has come back!

For it has never left..

Even though I thought it had…

So many thoughts and feeling I had that were just waiting to be heard.

Life happens && I got distracted with that.

But I never lost sight.

I always had it in the back of my mind to start writing again.

Mainly because it is for myself…

And anyone else who wants to come along for the ride ๐Ÿ™ƒ

I know I’m a tad bit early but…

&& that is all I really wanted to say..

To 2019… cheers.

Your going to be a good one… I hope ๐Ÿค—

xoxoLaLa

Future Things && Such

I have never saw myself being the kind of person to get married.

Or have kids.

Or pretty much any of those “dreams” that “normal” people seem to have either while they are growing up or a little later in life.

I spoke to soon. (Of course)

If someone were to ask me what I wanted.

I would simply say.

My life.

My life to feel complete.

Now that I am hitting that age where it’s like “ahh I’m getting older gotta make some life changing choices” maybe for the better, but who really knows (super sarcastic voice, while reading it at a slightly faster speed)

But for the past few weeks, I’ve been sitting and thinking about where I would like to see myself in a few years.
&& I’ve come to find that the answer is very simple.

It is to be happy.
Happier.

Crazy to say this out loud but I could totally get down with tying the knot. Eh maybe.

But I already have a kid. โœ”๏ธ

Single. โœ”๏ธ

But all I would like

(Now that I am actually writing this I feel super weird about it. Is it too late to turn back now and pretend that I didn’t go down this path!? ๐Ÿ™ˆ Someone is framing me! ha)

I sit and smile.

Basically daydreaming about what I want.

(happy thoughts)

I am not going to settle or deal with so much bullskit… yes I know I spelled it that way. Don’t have a cow ๐Ÿ™ƒ it’s my lingo. Its my jam.

My “list” or “wants” are super basic.
Super simple.
Super easy.
Eh let’s make a list of like 5 things I see in my future or shall I say, want in my future!

โ€ฆ. I’m laughing at myself ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ literally dying of laugher.

This is stupid ๐Ÿ™„

What am I actually getting myself into?

Uh. f it.

Onward we go!

I’m going to stick to my guns ๐Ÿ˜‰ && say it out loud

1. Tall guy. Like a tall guy. So tall. Like really tall. Just tall.

2. Super sense of humor that’s also a kid at heart like myself

3. Dog. Here is why. I really can see myself with a little puppy and just going from there.  (I miss having one and just want to do it all over again!)

Like come home from work and BAM there is my little family.

Guy. Daughter(already made.) Dog. (Maybe 2) Me.

Umm.
So I’m stuck at three, so we are just going to say three things.

Lol for a split second I felt like I was writing an “ad” on a dating site. But this is my blog.

I do what I want.

I write what I want.

And for now. I got nothing else. But I am looking forward to the next few years. I guess we shall see what happens.

(Fingers Crossed ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿผ)

But until then.

I’ll continue to dream ๐Ÿ˜โ˜บ๏ธ

xoxoLaLa