Where is the closure?
Where is the answers?
Where were you?
(..I am just thinking out loud…)
I know the best thing for me is not to dwell on the things that should be left where they have landed.
I know that for me to heal, I can’t question anything.
I have to let time takes its course..
I know it sucks. Like it really sucks.
I know that I am hating myself for falling back into the same rhythm over && over again.
I know that I miss it a lot when I know I shouldn’t.
I know I shouldn’t think about wanting to yell && curse. But I want to.
I want to do all the things that I know will only cause me further pain.
I know I want to just know why..
Why?
Just simply why?
I know that it is better to just leave things unanswered && to move forward.
I know it shouldn’t be this hard to get over something like this. But it is.
I have struggled to find happiness with myself for so long && seeking other things delayed me to achieve that.
Man it sucks. It really does.
(.. I am just thinking out loud..)
I hate that the world feels like it is going to end at any point.
Even though I know that’s false..
I know I will one day be able to live again && feel invincible.
I know that if I keep making up things for me to change my focus to, I will be better off.
I hate that I wanted this for myself.
I know that I wanted to make a change this year.
I didn’t know that it would of came so soon..
(.. just thinking out loud)
I can’t believe how real it has all become in the matter of weeks.
I lost myself for years && the light to guide me out is just no where in sight.
I know I have to push forward.
I know I have my life.
I know what I have to do.
I know I have to get to the light && take my life back.
I know it will be hard && I hate that.
But for this main purpose….
I have to do what I promised myself.
I will find my way.
I will find the light.
I will gain back my happiness.
For it will always stay in sight.
xoxoLaLa