A Story. Feelings. ☹️

I hate the feeling of being alone.

It’s so easy to get lost in some of the things that we have that are apart of our lives.

I sometimes seem to forget that it is just me.

Thinking too much. (It’s becoming a rare thing) thankfully!

But just having that want of someone else to share life with seems like a dying thing.

There are things that I think are “together” things but when left alone I feel completely lost.

Only to remind myself that it is just me.

Sometimes I do feel like it will always just me, && I halfway am accepting of that…

Even with some happiness and being hopeful… I feel as if it is just a phase.

Somethings are just never meant to be understood.

I wish I could understand most things like that though but only

Without any feeling.

No hurt. No pain. No emotion.

Just the knowledge.

No overreacting. No caring. No emotion.

It’s currently a Thursday night.

Didn’t work all day.

Did a lot of running around.

Some studying.

Alone.

Now that the time is getting closer to the end of the day.

I wish I had something going on for me.

I work a lot. && those days get missed.

I miss so many things.

But then when I have time.

More hours. Even days.

I’m usually stuck with nothing.

No one.

Just me.

Just alone.

Just debating my next move.

Still dressed.

Makeup still on.

Just want to do something. With someone.

But why does that always seem so much to ask for?

No one cares?

Why does no one care?

Running around in circles with myself trying to make sense of the smallest things.

Then it all makes sense.

It’s just me.

I remember a few years ago…

Being by myself. I felt different.

I felt. Like no one could tell me anything.

Unstoppable? Eh.

But more carefree? Yes.

Confident.

Happy.

Hopeful.

&& it honestly showed.

I don’t think anyone would of guessed that.

I’m going to get back to that time.

The better times.

I’m about to have a lot on my plate soon.

But it will be alright.

Sure it will…

Keeping in mind of the things that I want in life.

Not to settle.

&& get to everything that I want to accomplish.

Even on the days where I feel like there is no real hope.

I’ll push through it.

Alone or not.

With or without someone by my side.

I’ll do my best.

I promise.

Thanks for listening.

Forever alone ❤️

xoxoLaLa

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