Available

There is such a thing as being to available.

I am one of those people.
I am one of those people who always seems to be available..

Maybe because I haven’t got anything else really going for me.

I will sit in silence for so long just to hear any kind of notification..
..half the time its one of those texts that are really about nothing from a company or a reminder.. lame

I hate that..
I have a social life that doesn’t exist.
One that I am not sure how to gain.
No distractions..
No nothing.
Just silence.
Waiting.

…Just available.

How does that make me look?
Always there are soon as I hear something.
Quick responder.
So lame..
For so long it has been so hard for me to get a grasp on things.
My mind can never seem to be focused on one thing without the feeling,
or wondering what I could be missing out on..

9.9/10 its nothing…

I hate social media sometimes,
but it seems like the best option to get myself out there to not feel so
ALONE?
or needy? I don’t know.

The older you get the harder it gets.
Just sitting thinking how it is so hard to change
I don’t know what to do or even where to begin…

When things seem to be promising they always seem to find a way of ripping
itself out of my reach… why?
… (maybe it is just me)…

But yet I am still available..

How can I turn this off?
Why does this seem to be my thing?
Maybe one day I will figure it out…

Thanks for listening..

Until next time.

xoxoLaLa

 

 

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