So over time.
As I got older.
I guess I kind of fell out of being a social person.
Even though I really never was one.
But over time I was able to get over being shy.
I’ve come along way && I am happy about that.
So about a few months ago.
I wanted to go out by myself to a bar like I used to, but that never happened because I got a panic attack quickly and aborted the mission.
I went out again && it was a bit successful.
I mean during the day is not problem because usually there is no one there or anyone that I might find attractive.
But today was the day that I finally sucked it up after going back and forth on what I should do && I did it!
I am actually currently sitting at this bar /pub that I have been at one time before with a friend. (It’s close so I went with it.)
It’s pretty dead here right about now but that’s okay. (10:10 PM)
I don’t know how to take this all in but I am here && that’s all that matters.
This is a step in a new direction for myself, && it feels so it’s nice.
I realize that this all sounds pretty stupid to a regular person who actually does stuff with their lives but it’s me && I am pretty lame
Fast forward to about 20 minutes later on my first drink still.
&& I am feeling it, watching basketball and baseball.
So exciting right!?
As I sit here, I am listening to everyone’s conversation && I’m just here lol
alone but it’s not the worst thing in the world
So going into the second hour && I’m a little over it.
&& pretty beat.
But I mean, what else is new.
Still with the same drink that I just finished that was pretty much watered down from the ice since I’ve had it for so long.
Two hours in.
As I was thinking that it was time for me to leave after basically embarrassing myself by opening a tab to only have one drink in that many hours was kind of ridiculous to me.
I wish I was able to jump into conversations.
Maybe if I were drunk, but I wasn’t.
As I finished my drink, some older man across the bar from me waved.
Then said something I couldn’t hear.
Then the bartender came over && said that guy would like to buy me a drink.
I declined && closed out my lengthy tab.
Thanked the guy across from,
Signed my bill,
I would of taken a second drink but I also had to pee.
I had to piss ..lol
Yea I think I like that word better.
So I opted to leave.
I know that some were probably trying to figure out why I was so quiet, or maybe why I was even alone.
I am pretty sure that is what that guy was saying.
I am glad that I did something out of my comfort zone.
I think the experience will help me be able to go out more && feel not so alone when in fact I am there alone.
&& it will be okay.
Face your fears