Breaking the Cycle

I’ve always had such a hard time.

Breaking the Cycle

It is an annoying habit to have, but sometimes you have to just bite the bullet && do what is best for you. Sometimes you have to go outside of your “mind” && look at things from a different perspective. I can tell you right now that it will in no means be easy but I can almost guarantee that it will be worth it && your happiness will be even greater!

I know I sound like someone that is being paid to say this but I always say things on my blog that I can speak from && have experienced for myself. I want to reach out to as many people as I can because I feel that it is important to know who you are && to never lose yourself. Your happiness is the most important thing in this world that belongs to you. Well… one of the most && you get to control that!

Do not let someone, take that happiness from you.
Do not let someone take what is not theirs.
Do not forget who you are && what you are worth.
Do not let someone control your anything.
Do not let someone waste your time.

It literally takes seconds… SECONDS to respond to someone. Whether it is through face to face, phone or text, hell even anything on social media. It takes seconds..

More && more I notice how much people suck.
This generation of people suck ass crack on a hot sunny day.. Eggs are fucking cooked to no end, just straight filth.
Obviously, I cannot speak for anyone else other than myself. So that is what I am doing..
That is what I always been doing && no this is not me going off on a limb && making up the craziest accusations… It is just me being me. πŸ™‚

Anywaysssssssssssss

How many people can say that they have been left on read?
How many people can say that they have left someone on read?
How many people have said yes to both but only recognize one as being wrong?
…aka the first question…
There is this issue within this “era” where people feel the need to build someone up just to break them down && loose all hope in something.. Maybe not all the time, but I believe that there is some hurt to everyone at all expense.

What gets me is when I see someone post about how all females are the same && all they do is post pictures half naked for attention, where are all the real woman at?

I hate this.

Number one reason being is that 99% of the time (that’s just my exact guess from experience) there is at least one good person in the bunch that you know but ignore.

Male or female we have all done it.
So why do we look all over when there is someone right under our nose?
Is it for the likes?
Is it for the attention?
Well, hell maybe you aren’t into that said person, which is fine.

But people are so quick to jump on the bandwagon && continue to make this generation worst than what it was yesterday. I can’t tell someone how many times I have reached out to people just to generally see how they are && got nothing back. People are full of excuses && it’s absolutely sad.

But can we really blame them? It is all a vicious cycle that seems to have no real purpose && have no real end. There is nothing that seems to make sense anymore. There is nothing that can be said to break this cycle.

Nothing.

One day I think we will all come to the realization of how we have made this world a personal living hell. For either ourselves or someone else. Again with no real reason.

It kind of takes me back to the whole, “Is it for the likes? The attention?” Possibly.

I guess just grab a bag of popcorn && watch us all try to get out of this.

Get out of this nonsense && break the cycle, Together.

xoxoLaLa

Facing My Fears

So over time.
As I got older.
I guess I kind of fell out of being a social person.
Even though I really never was one.
But over time I was able to get over being shy.

I’ve come along way && I am happy about that.

So about a few months ago.
I wanted to go out by myself to a bar like I used to, but that never happened because I got a panic attack quickly and aborted the mission.

I went out again && it was a bit successful.
I mean during the day is not problem because usually there is no one there or anyone that I might find attractive.

But today was the day that I finally sucked it up after going back and forth on what I should do && I did it!

😁😁😁

I am actually currently sitting at this bar /pub that I have been at one time before with a friend. (It’s close so I went with it.)

It’s pretty dead here right about now but that’s okay. (10:10 PM)

I don’t know how to take this all in but I am here && that’s all that matters.

This is a step in a new direction for myself, && it feels so it’s nice.

I realize that this all sounds pretty stupid to a regular person who actually does stuff with their lives but it’s me && I am pretty lame

GO ME!

Fast forward to about 20 minutes later on my first drink still.
Ha!
&& I am feeling it, watching basketball and baseball.
So exciting right!?

As I sit here, I am listening to everyone’s conversation && I’m just here lol
alone but it’s not the worst thing in the world

….

So going into the second hour && I’m a little over it.
&& pretty beat.

But I mean, what else is new.

…..

Still with the same drink that I just finished that was pretty much watered down from the ice since I’ve had it for so long.
Two hours in.

GO ME!

As I was thinking that it was time for me to leave after basically embarrassing myself by opening a tab to only have one drink in that many hours was kind of ridiculous to me.

I wish I was able to jump into conversations.
Maybe if I were drunk, but I wasn’t.
As I finished my drink, some older man across the bar from me waved.
Then said something I couldn’t hear.

Then the bartender came over && said that guy would like to buy me a drink.
I declined && closed out my lengthy tab.
Thanked the guy across from,
Signed my bill,
&& left.

I would of taken a second drink but I also had to pee.

I had to piss ..lol
Yea I think I like that word better.

So I opted to leave.

I know that some were probably trying to figure out why I was so quiet, or maybe why I was even alone.
I am pretty sure that is what that guy was saying.

GO ME!

Anyways…
I am glad that I did something out of my comfort zone.
I think the experience will help me be able to go out more && feel not so alone when in fact I am there alone.
&& it will be okay.

Face your fears

xoxoLaLa

The “Skinny” Girl

I have always been the kind of person who was born “lucky”. (in a sense)
And when I say that, I am talking about something very specific that I couldn’t help because it was just the way I have always been.
&& some people thought of me as being”lucky”. (Stupid right!?)

Let’s dive a little more deeper.
(but I am pretty sure you are able to figure out what this is all about from the title!)
I have always been a fairly “skinny” person.
I put the word in quotes because.. I don’t know. Some people make it sound ridiculous.
I guess when I was in high school it was like the best thing ever??
And being thin was the “IT” thing….? Or some shit like that..

Even when I was pregnant I only weight maybe 135 lbs, && again…
I couldn’t help that.
I can say though, that after the fact I was indeed lucky to go right back into “shape”.
But the whole point of this blog is that just because you are skinny does not mean your in shape.
That is one thing that I literally hated hearing, && still do dislike hearing.

Here are some of the struggles of being skinny;

  1. I can tell someone my current weight and they do not believe me.
    Apparently it is a lie.
    It’s crazy isn’t it!?
    Why would anyone lie about something so minimal like that?
  2. Some people seem to think that you don’t eat a lot and you have a problem.
    Aka you have an eating disorder. πŸ™„
  3. People say that I don’t need to work out because I am skinny, when being skinny has nothing.
    NOTHING to do with being in shape && healthy. πŸ™ƒ
  4. Β Someone is always constantly reminding me that I am skinny.
  5. When you are excited that you put on some weight or even mention you want to gain weigh, for some reason it seems to be an issue.&& there goes an eye roll
    πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„
  6. Everyone always thinks that your going to just become obese when you hit a certain again, like everyone’s body is the same.
    Seriously probably one of the most annoying things I have ever heard.
    Clearly everyone is not the same or built the same or even eats the same and has the same issues.
    Sounds like a tiny bit of jealousy!? Not saying that people are jealous of me per say but generally speaking when there is that sort of “hate” or “negativity” for no reason what so ever.

Anyways…
I guess 6 is good for right now. lol

I just basically wanted to say that because being skinny is not everything.
Coming from a skinny person!
There are real life struggles of someone being skinny that is really not what it is all cracked up to be.
So people just need to settle down and think about what you are going to say to someone that you find to be “too skinny”
We all have feelings and it is not pleasant to hear certain things, that are pretty much insulting,Β even though others might think it is a compliment.

But it is not.
K thanks.
Until next time.

Just be beautiful in the skin you are in!

xoxoLaLa