Future Things && Such

I have never saw myself being the kind of person to get married.

Or have kids.

Or pretty much any of those “dreams” that “normal” people seem to have either while they are growing up or a little later in life.

I spoke to soon. (Of course)

If someone were to ask me what I wanted.

I would simply say.

My life.

My life to feel complete.

Now that I am hitting that age where it’s like “ahh I’m getting older gotta make some life changing choices” maybe for the better, but who really knows (super sarcastic voice, while reading it at a slightly faster speed)

But for the past few weeks, I’ve been sitting and thinking about where I would like to see myself in a few years.
&& I’ve come to find that the answer is very simple.

It is to be happy.
Happier.

Crazy to say this out loud but I could totally get down with tying the knot. Eh maybe.

But I already have a kid. βœ”οΈ

Single. βœ”οΈ

But all I would like

(Now that I am actually writing this I feel super weird about it. Is it too late to turn back now and pretend that I didn’t go down this path!? πŸ™ˆ Someone is framing me! ha)

I sit and smile.

Basically daydreaming about what I want.

(happy thoughts)

I am not going to settle or deal with so much bullskit… yes I know I spelled it that way. Don’t have a cow πŸ™ƒ it’s my lingo. Its my jam.

My “list” or “wants” are super basic.
Super simple.
Super easy.
Eh let’s make a list of like 5 things I see in my future or shall I say, want in my future!

…. I’m laughing at myself 🀣🀣 literally dying of laugher.

This is stupid πŸ™„

What am I actually getting myself into?

Uh. f it.

Onward we go!

I’m going to stick to my guns πŸ˜‰ && say it out loud

1. Tall guy. Like a tall guy. So tall. Like really tall. Just tall.

2. Super sense of humor that’s also a kid at heart like myself

3. Dog. Here is why. I really can see myself with a little puppy and just going from there.  (I miss having one and just want to do it all over again!)

Like come home from work and BAM there is my little family.

Guy. Daughter(already made.) Dog. (Maybe 2) Me.

Umm.
So I’m stuck at three, so we are just going to say three things.

Lol for a split second I felt like I was writing an “ad” on a dating site. But this is my blog.

I do what I want.

I write what I want.

And for now. I got nothing else. But I am looking forward to the next few years. I guess we shall see what happens.

(Fingers Crossed 🀞🏼)

But until then.

I’ll continue to dream 😁☺️

xoxoLaLa

LaLa, The Mini Chef

So I’ve been doing this for a while now and I think I want to master it…

eventually.

One day that is….

I’ve been a cook for a few years now.

No where near Chef status but a Mini Chef.

Yes.

I don’t mind what I do, in fact I very much so enjoy the sense of freedom I have when it comes to being creative.

I have come along way since I started cooking back in 2011 landing a cook supervisor position at the age of 21, with no experience what so ever..
(Just winging it like always)

It was something completely new for me. I didn’t feel confident enough to be able to pull that kind of job off considering since it was my first actual cooking job.

Nursing home.

(I’ve worked in a few before. Haven’t since 2013. Can’t say that I would ever go back or even miss that type of a cooking setting. On to bigger and better things, right!?πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ)

But that’s where it all started for me.

I was a dishwasher at this place.

A pot washer.

A Hospitality Aid at some point as well.

My FSD. Food Service Director.

Brought it to me saying that I would probably be really good at it.
Like I said before I had no experience.
But I liked to work.

I took the job on and people liked what I did. People preferred me as a cook.

Even compared to other cooks. It was great.

I was so afraid to become a cook. Stepping into that kind of role without knowing anything was pretty big for me.

And I thank those who believed in me and was able to see something different in me.

I look back at that place and see that some… Not a lot may still work there. Or have moved on to different nursing homes or maybe retirement homes. Or even hospital settings.

Still hospitality. Dietary.

Good for them.

Skipping ahead to 2015. I landed a job as a cook, yet again. After not cooking for the past two years. Had some odd jobs in between nothing to fancy. And nothing worth talking about.

I don’t remember my interview very well. I remember what I was wearing though. Nothing professional for a job interview that’s for sure..

I was nervous.
This was a completely new setting for me.
And frankly I don’t even remember apply to the place anyways.

It was about 40 minutes from where I lived.
So it was a bit of a drive for me.
I knew very little about the city but they gave me a chance.

The interview went fairly well.
Since I got the job.

One of the original Chefs that I started with tells me from time to time that he didn’t think I was going to last.

Yea. I may have had a rough start in the beginning but I pulled through. Haven’t missed a day. Well haven’t called out.

It is the first and only place where I have worked with Chefs. Not cooks along side of me but Chefs. That I respect.

The name Mini Chef was “given” to me by one of my Chefs and I kind of sort of took it and ran with it.
I adopted it. Basically.

&&

3 years later.

54 miles to and from a day.

4 days a week.

I am still here.

I am not a chef.

I have learned a lot.

I still have a lot to learn.

But I love what I do.

The only goal that I have set for myself in the Food Industry was to become a Sous Chef.

I’ll get there one day.

I suppose ☺️

Campus dining is a hell of a lot different than a nursing home obviously but.

I’m glad I went for it.

xoxoLaLa

It’s the most wonderful time of the …

Year.

Well with Christmas out of the way.

I have to say.

I am sort of sad to say that I miss being able to have “plans” with my “boyfriend”

Meaning.

Having someone else to share Christmas with.

Its been 3 years of single Christmas-ness and I can say now. I miss it.

I honestly do. Even though I was annoyed at being at my past boyfriends families houses sometimes. πŸ™„(Don’t we all!?) I still miss it though.

It’s like apart of life. You know.

The Good. The Bad. && The Ugly.

I say all this as I’m sitting here alone.
In bed.
Doing some word searches
…while watching Judge Judy.
Just home alone.

Sounds pretty sad right!?
Or maybe it sounds like I am having the time of my life…

But..

It does feel pretty nice not having to go out and be apart of something extra.

But I still miss it.
I know what your thinking

&&

I know I make no sense what so ever.

But I am still going to say it. I know I am not the only one that has felt or experienced something like this before because again we are all only human. But I just wanted to share this and I do hope that everyone

Single or not

Had a wonderful Christmas/Holiday Season. 😊

xoxoLaLa

Was It Worth It?.. Nope

So a few years ago, I decided that I wanted to make a change in my life and wanted to have more of a stable “future” for myself.

So back in 2013, the job scene for me wasn’t anything worth wild.
It was a bit of a struggle.
I worked a few jobs at a time making three jobs at once the most I have ever worked in my life..
I can’t say that I would ever want to do that again though.

Anyways, like I was saying.
So back then I decided that enough was enough and that I wanted to make something great out of my life.
I started to do some research and took a look into different schools
I already knew that I did not want to cut back on hours at work because I obviously need money to live and plus being a single parent and having a place to call my own was also a factor and we all know how the bills never stop coming..

Anyways

(Sorry I keep getting sidetracked.. lol)

So I came across a few Colleges/ Universities to do some online schooling to be able to obtain a Bachelors Degree. (Spoiler Alert. I did)
I found a college that was to my liking, and in late 2013 I started my journey through online schooling.

It was nice for the first few months. I was able to stay focused and was getting good grades and actually giving it my all, participating in just about everything. It was great.

The only thing that I kept thinking was how I would be able to get a real job and make decent money and be pretty much set.

Oh boy was I wrong.. lol

But before we get to that let me just finish off by saying that I did graduate in 2016, a few months later than I was expected to graduate but hey still did it. I declined to fly out and walk across the stage, even though I thought it would of been amazing to do so. (Especially with this kind of accomplishment. )

With a few months left in school in 2015, I was offered a paid internship through some website that I can’t even think of at the current moment. It was geared towards students who were graduating/recently graduated.

The internship was online based and the company that I applied to was based out of state.
Where I live, one of the people working for the company was originally from a neighboring state of mine and traveled up north just to give me one on one training. At my apartment..
It was nice but also a little weird considering the person himself. But that is a whole different story because this post is already long enough.

Moving forward.

So I was interning for a few weeks when they decided that they wanted to bring me on as an employee.
Great right!?
It was until I was later laid off a few months later due to some inaccurate statements. Basically I felt like I was being ganged up on and the one partner and the person who came up to train me turned his back on me and was feeding lies to the part owner.

Whatever.

So that was in fact the only job that I was ever able to get with my degree.
It is absolutely ridiculous how jobs want you to have a degree and also want you to have 5-10 years experience in the field, while just graduating. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

After a while I stopped even looking for anything like that. I found it hard to get my foot in the door anywhere, when realistally just about anyone can be trained to do a job (Marketing) unless it’s like being something that requires a doctorate or whatever. I am sure you get my drift in where I am going with this statement.

Any who..

A few years, I landed a Director job with a new company. I obviously had noooo experience being a director of any kind, but I was given a chance and I nailed it.
The company later fell apart having some issues with the owners (amongst themselves)

That was earlier this year.. and that was the last job I had with anything related to my degree.
What a waste.
I have had a job consistently for the past 3 years or so. I did the director job full time leaving my cooking job to part time.
&& you know what??

I prefer that.

The whole point of this entry was to say that even though, I thought that I needed this degree, I needed to go to school to make good money, like I thought just by having this piece of paper that I would be able to land something.

&& unfortunately I was wrong.
.. but that could change down the line but its already been 2 years and some that I received the degree.

I can’t say that I am happy that I did it.
I am now learning that since I am paying it back now, how much of a waste it was for me and that companies are outrageous with their standards. It seems like you have to know someone in any kind of business just to be heard and given a chance.

No, I don’t make the best money right now. But I also didn’t go to Culinary School. Which I don’t believe I would of went to either way because I knew that it is a job that you can be trained right there. Learning all kinds of things. Which I did and I have been nothing less than successful in.

You know why?

Simply because I have the drive.

And that is all you need.

So if you are in a similar situation as me. Where you went to school to make your life “better” and it didn’t seem to work out that way but found your passion else where.
I understand.
&& just continue to realize that you have done nothing wrong.
Just keep setting goals for yourself and the rest shall follow.

Thanks for listening..

xoxoLaLa

Time

I don’t like the day and age I live in.
Correction…
We live in.
Compared to the other decades that have long passed, this one seems almost impossible to live in.
To get by in.
To find happiness in.
To live normally in.
To have something real in.

(It’s crazy honestly)

One minute you could feel like you are on top of the world and nothing can stop you or bring you down. Nothing can stand in your way for you are completely invincible.

(Or maybe… that’s me)….
(Well probably just me)
(Anyways.. moving forward, back to the point on this entry)

If people could take the time out to respond to someone or at least let them know what the deal is so they can stop having their time wasted..
If people could just be more considerate of others.. that would be AMAZING!!Β 
If more people could take the time to acknowledge when they are in the wrong and try to make it right…
that would be INCREDBILY AWESOME!!
If more people were just honest with themselves and not try to put on a “front or a “show” just for other peoples entertainment..
That would be FLIPPIN FANTASTIC!!
But no…
that is clearly too much to ask for 😦
..way too much to ask for..

As a society, we seem to do more bad than good.
As a society, we seem to care more about what other people think that do not matter.
As a society, we should understand how people work, and how it is different for everyone.
It is about time, that we as a society take a step in a different direction and learn to protect and respect other people.

For we all are only human and our feelings are real.
Our feelings are what holds us together.
It is our glue…..

But no one will actually ever do that.
It seems to be way too much.
Way to difficult.
Way to “not my problem” -ish
Way to “sucks to be you”
But..
I don’t literally mean no one..
just most people wont,
They wont, because it gives them that sense of people wanting them, when that is not always the cast. Those kind of people are attention seekers. Seeing the world as an opposite.

People need to get off of their invisible high horses and get back reality.
Get back to the times when it was okay to care about other people.
Back in the days when it was okay to show some real feelings, and no one faulted you for being yourself.

Since when did everything become just for show?
Since when did everything seem to become a competition?
Since when did we become so cruel in not only our words but with our actions?

There are way too many people in this world that can’t seem to grasp reality to the point that anyone on the other end side of them will only be able to see the negativity.

&& with that..

It gives them that sense that they have options, which is obviously wrong
&& ridiculous.
I would like people to know and to understand that things like this are a reason why people have certain thoughts and become hurt or even damage themselves…

People need to be aware and have the respect for one another to just speak up and not ignore others, or treat others like they are an option..
… but instead

Talk. Engage. Learn.

xoxoLaLa