Finding Strength

Struggling to keep my composure.
Struggling to not think about you, or anything that has to do with you.

It sucks, but it has to be done.

I don’t want to keep living this life for someone else that never cared.
I don’t want to keep living my life without you though.
I don’t want to keep living my life with you in my thoughts.
I don’t want to keep feeling the sadness that I once thought was all happiness.

I miss you,
I miss you more than you will ever know.

…………

A little bit of time has passed,
Time that I didn’t get to speak to you.
Time that I didn’t get to see you….
But
I had the chance,
I just opted not to.
I wanted to see if you would still be there if I took a step back.
I wanted to see if you really cared for me or at least thought about me.
But you didn’t.

What was I thinking?

This whole time I was blinded,
Blinded by hope and maybe even desperation.
I wanted you to want the same things that I did..
But I was wrong.

………..

It was a lie.
A lie in which I let go on for way too long.
A lie that would string me for years to come.

I was just happy with you.
Very happy.
The thought of you made my heart skip a beat.
(Even years later)
Every time I would see your name, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
You made me the happiest I have ever been…
In such a long time.

IMG_2975

You made me smile from ear to ear, everyday for so long
I couldn’t wait to wake up the next morning to hear from you.

But we were never truly on the same page.

…………

Never let anyone be the reason to your happiness.
Include them.
Do not let them be the main reason.
Be happy.
Find you.
Who needs em?
Not you!

 

 

xoxoLaLa

2 thoughts on “Finding Strength

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s